Health Tip from ChuChuBob

ChuChuBob emailed me today with an important health tip that you should all be aware of. Check it out here. If you want to live a long and healthy life, I urge you to read this article immediately and do exactly what it says. Often.

Hey everyone! You never thoght it was going to happen but Jenna and Mindless is up and running again. Check it out.

Quite A Comment

So all of our readers have probably read the blog entitled “How Suite It Is” written by Jay but if you haven’t read the comments you should probably check it out. One comment in particular really struck a nerve of mine and it seems to be tugging at it like an impatient toddler tugging on his mom’s arm because he desperately wants to go to the toy store. This comment came as a result of something that Jay had written about a tax break that I got because of Hunter. This is the quote and yes hijacked was spelled wrong by him:

“ I can't afford to go they tax too much money out of my paycheck to support other peoples children.
Hopefully I will get a better job soon so more money can be hyjacked and you can be part of the HOME ICE advantage.
I never really got the expression "It Takes a Village" till recently.”

Now it seems that Keith thinks that he paid for my tax refund and that because of this that he could never even fathom going to a hockey game in a suite. Now maybe I don’t know a whole hell of a lot here about our government, but I am not on welfare and in spite of what others may think state issued insurance is not a form of welfare either (some people who qualify for it have to pay for it), but that is beside the point; sorry for that little tangent. What happens is when you only make a certain amount of money a year you qualify what they call an earned income credit or an EIC. It helps if you make a little bit of money and have a child. You see, the government understands that children are expensive and every little bit helps so they may give you extra money back. Unfortunately for those who don’t have children or those who make more than a certain amount of money the EIC is not available. These people are bitter and think that they are paying for those who get the EIC and in turn make stupid comments (see above quote).

Now I have been paying taxes into the government since I have been working and it all adds up to a hell of a lot more than what my tax refund was and I am sure that all the money grubbing people who think they are getting screwed out of an EIC think that they essentially paid for my tickets to the Flyers game. Well they are wrong and it is a shame that they don’t know what they are talking about. Well before I get too angry and say things I shouldn’t say but here is this: If Keith should have plenty of money to get suite tickets if you add up all the times he skipped out on the check at Starview because he only got a $2 shake or for every time he only spends $6. He forgets that he got a soda and the rest of us tend to tip as well. Or when he is at the bar and puts $5 in for a whole night's worth of drinking when everyone else is buying pitchers.

Well let me leave you with this…it may take a village but there is always a village idiot.

Theater Excursions: Secret Window

Starring Johnny Depp and John Turturro
Also Starring Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton, and Charles S. Dutton
Screenplay by David Koepp
Based on the Novella "Secret Window, Hidden Garden" by Stephen King
Directed by David Koepp

Unfortuantely, we're all becoming far too cool and sophisticated for films like Secret Window, which is not to say hat the film is unsophisticated. The one great weakness of the film is a tought one: you can see the ending coming a mile away. It ends precisely as you expect it will. But if the film had been released ten or twelve years ago, when trick endings had not yet become a subgenre of their own, it would have been a revelation.

Unfortunately, I have very little memory of the Stephen King novella upon which this film was based. I know I have a copy of it somewhere, but I don't know where. The story came from the collection Four Past Midnight, which also contains "The Langoliers", "The Library Policeman", and "The Sun Dog". Only the first of these has previously been filmed, and only for a bad Made-for-TV movie with Bronson Pinchot as the villain. Yeah, it was that bad.

But David Koepp does admirable work with this not-well-known King property. If you don't know, Koepp previously directed Stir of Echoes, which I've never seen, and wrote Spider-Man and Panic Room. It was due to this last credit that I was eager to see this film. Also, any film where Johnny Depp faces off against John Turturro is worth a look. But Panic Room was a taut and well-constructed suspense film which demonstrated that Koepp possesses considerable talent as a writer. I wanted to see how he would manage behind the camera.

The results were very impressive. Immediately after the prologue, we have a Hitchcockian establishing shot of a secluded cabin. The camera pushes in through the window, and eventually pulls on a mirror. The mirror shows the reflection of a sleeping Johhny Depp. Rather than spin around to show the character directly, the camera pushes into the mirror, and the whole of the film takes place within it. This simple but very effective trick prefigures a sequence much later in the film where Depp's character, author Mort Rainey, looks into the same mirror and sees the back of his own head. But I may already be giving too much away.

Not that it matters, since the film is so bad at keeping its own secrets. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The plot concerns John Shooter (Turturro), a strange and distubing Mississippi man who has become convinced that Rainey plagiarised his story. Reluctantly, Rainey reads his manuscript and discovers that the story is remarkably similar to a story he published under the title "Secret Window". The story was about a man who murders his wife and buries her in a secluded garden on his property, which cannot be properly seen from ground level. Only from a small window on the upper story of the cabin, previously obscured by an old piece of furniture, can the garden be seen.

The story was inspired by just such a window in Rainey's cabin, and by his own marital problems. Te prologue of the film concerns Rainey's discovery that his wife is cheating on him. The film proper opens later, and Mort is distracted by the need to sign the divorce papers which will finally end his unhappy marriage. Unfortunately for Rainey, happenstanceconspires against his being able to produce a magazine containing his "Secret Window", published before Shooter claims to have written his own, eerily similar story. As the film goes on, Shooter's quest for justice takes on progressively darker tones, and Rainey begins to believe that his life may be in danger.

The set-up is quite conventional. In a sense, it's a slightly warped version of Cape Fear, or of any other psychopathic stalker story. What makes Secret Window worth watching, despite the predictability of its ending, is the considerable skill with which this familiar scenario is played out. The lead actors are both at the top of their game in this film, which is saying a lot for both of them. Most surprising is Charles S. Dutton, whose character is so obviously marked for death that it is to his enormous credit that he imbues him with such richness.

As Rainey himself remarks at the end of this film, the most important part of the story is the ending. And because the ending of this film is so easily predicted, it's hard not to feel disappointed as you exit the theater. But the story unfolds over the course of the film in such an enjoyable way that it would be unfair to condemn the whole film just for its ending. It really is a high quality film, and I suspect it will be one of the most under-rated pictures of 2004. I'm eagerly anticipating the next directorial effort from David Koepp, based on the strength of his work here. I only hope he takes Mr. Rainey's advice about endings to heart.

HOW SUITE IT IS

I love attending sporting events, it is great. I love sports and actually seeing them up close and personal is a great thing. You get to experience so much that the TV screen just does not convey. But therein lies the problem. There is just so much to experience, maybe I have ADD or something but when I go to a game I am focusing on everything but the game. I am worried about eating my hotdog or drinking my beverage without spilling it on the guy in front of me. I am reading a program. I am watching the goalie, leftfielder, cornerback, random guy on the bench do whatever it is they do when they are not a part of the action. I am looking at the crowd: What is that guy doing? What does that sign say? OOOOh look at the pretty lights on the fan-o-vision. Hey that chick is hot. The next thing I know the game is half over and most times the home team is losing...big. The good thing about watching a sporting event on TV is that you are forced to focus on the action. The bad thing is that you miss everything that makes sports fun.

Well now that I got that out of the way on to what the title of this blog is. Last Thursday Jenna and I attended an absolutely pathetic performance by the Flyers against the New York Islanders. The game itself is not what I want to talk about, I want to talk about the environment that we watched this game in. Thanks to the US government and Hunter, Jenna was able to get an insane tax refund. With some of that money she decided to take me to a Flyers game, the problem is that they are basically sold out for the rest of the season, except for the club box level. The tickets were a little more expensive, but believe me the price is well worth it. The seats are pretty good, they are at the top of the lower level, which is close enough to see everything clearly but far enough away so that you can actually see all of the action without having to crane your neck. The real difference is when you actually get onto the suite level. First your tickets are checked out thoroughly just to get on the escalator that whisks you onto the level. Then you have to find your suite, where your tickets are once again checked by an attendant to make sure you have the right suite, as you walk in she hands you a menu.

After that you walk into sportsman paradise. A large room with some tables and a large bar. Jenna and I walked in and she hung up her jacket on a rack in the back of the room. That is right she hung up her jacket not threw it over the back of her seat or left it in the car, for fear that some ass would spill his beer on it. Then we sat a tale to take everything in and check out the menu, but before we could even look at the menu for two seconds a young pretty waitress comes right over and asks if she could get anything for us. We say not right now and saunter over to the bar, I order a beer, Jenna a wine. I then turned around and walked over to a table, not snaked my way through a couple hundred people hoping not to spill any of my overpriced beverage on somebody. Well then we looked at the menu, and it was good. As much as I love hotdogs and hoagies, what they serve the people who sit in the suites just blows it away. We are talking sushi, turkey wraps, roast beef sandwiches, and other delicacies that you could not even fathom of getting in the lowly "regular" seats. And the thing was that they were not any more expensive than what is served in the rest of the stadium, but the quality is one hundred times better. I swear to god a few weeks ago I ate what had to be the absolute worst cheese steak that I have ever eaten at a Flyers game. Well they also have a couple of nice stands outside of the boxes but still on the suite level. There they had a sundae cart. A fresh baked desert cart. A deli that served fresh cut meats and cheeses in fresh rolls, again no difference in price. But Jenna and I decided to visit one stand that was serving prime rib sandwiches. Let me tell you, this was fresh carved prime rib, right in front of your face, served on a fresh bun, with fresh, crisp lettuce, tomato and onion served with a great horseradish sauce. The sandwich also came with a fried potato and spice dish on the side with some fresh fruit salad. All of that greatness for only eleven dollars, which may sound like a lot but we got a HUGE sandwich and a side with desert for what people would pay for a meal at any restaurant. On top of all of that the food was absolutely delicious, the meat was so good along with everything else, my mouth is watering just thinking about it. But that is my point you can get great food brought to your seat by a waitress and not have to worry about long lines or missing any game action or bumping into people as you get back to your seat.

Well after you eat and drink some beer you have to go to the bathroom. Well instead of having to miss any game action or going between periods and waiting in line and having 20 people watch you as you piss. Each suite has its own private bathroom, it is much smaller but there are only a about 20 or 30 people in a box at a time. And the bathroom is spotless. There is always paper towels, the floor is clean, the place smells nice, it is like your bathroom at home, but just a little nicer.

In closing I highly recommend that everyone go see a game in a suite at least once a year, it is a great experience and well worth the extra dough. Perhaps next year we can get everyone together and we can rent a suite for a night, if we get enough people it should not be that expensive.

Me

Well, it's been a while since I posted, and that's because I'm hard at work, which mainly means writing. So, the last thing I want to do, while I'm writing for about 8 hours a day, is go online and write more.

I'm finishing my thesis, which is good. Right now, I have about 135 pages, with oh, about 3.5 chapters left. Two of them are going to be real tough. My goal is to have my whole thesis written by April 19th, so as you can see I'm in a time crunch. My plan is to have it writen by April 19th, fly out to Seattle April 20th to look for apartments, return to Madison on April 25. Finalize a defense date on April 26th. Then I'll defend around May 17. Take a week to finish up all the paper work. Then I'll head out to Europe for 3 weeks. When I return, around June 14th, I'll move out to Seattle, get setup, and start work on June 21st.

Needless to say I won't be the most active person on this blog between now and then.

Also, I would like to invite Tucker to go fuck his own face.

Theater Excursions: Starsky & Hutch

Starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Vince Vaungh
Also Starring Snoop Dogg, Fred Williamson, and Juliette Lewis
Story by Stevie Long and John O'Brien
Screenplay by John O'Brien and Todd Phillips & Scot Armstrong
Directed by Todd Phillips

I went to see this movie purely on the strength of Roger Ebert's review. I was torn between this, in which I had no interest, and Hidalgo, in which I had minor interest based entirely on the presence of Omar Sharif. Ebert gave each film three stars, but it was clear to me from his review that I would love this and hate Hidalgo.

So, despite the fact that I am by no means a fan of director Todd Phillips, and that I usually try to avoid films where the writing credit has both an 'and' and an ampersand, I went to see this film. And my boldness was rewarded. This was the funniest film I've seen since Bad Santa. I didn't laugh through the whole thing, but when I wasn't laughing, I was smiling and having a good time anyway. This movie is both funny and just straight out fun, and it also has a real story to carry the action forward. Like any good comedy (and this is one), it is both funny and well-constructed. If it weren't funny, it would still be a decent pastiche of its genre.

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson get the greatest share of the credit for this. While their characterizations are familiar to those who know their work, they still manage to inject a tremendous amount of freshness into this partnership. They have something of an "odd couple" relationshp, reminiscent of 1987's Dragnet, but there is no straight man in this duo (and you can take that however you want it). Both actors contribute a lot of comedy, and even their characters warm to each other very quickly, without even seeming to realize it.

One of the most interesting choices in the script is that it goes out of its way to stay focused on the relationship of the two main characters. They aren't merely vessels from which the comedy should come forth, they are actual people. Ridiculous people, to be sure, but people nevertheless. Each one has a surprising depth for your standard dumb comedy TV remake.

The only wrong move on the part of the script is an awkward cameo by the original "Starsky and Hutch" stars, which completely shatters the fourth wall without making for a particularly funny scene. It was nice, however, that this film decided to do the obligatory cameos right out in the open, instead of leaving it as a sly in-joke for the fanboys. In Hulk, for instance, Stan Lee and Lou Ferrigno have a nice walk on part, and Jay and I both appreciated seeing them. But in Starsky & Hutch, Paul Michael Glaser and David Soul are impossible to miss, even by people like me who have never seen the original show (or, frankly, heard of either of those people).

Another small disappointment to me was Snoop Dogg. I always thought that Snoop had tremendous comic potential, especially having seen his show on MTV. But to date, nothing I've seen of him in film has managed to follow through on his original promise. Snoop's performance as "Huggy Bear" was good for some laughs, and you can't help but love the character, but I was hoping Starsky & Hutch would signal Snoop's "arrival" as a comic actor, and it did not.

The only previous Todd Phillips directed film that I've seen was Old School, which I hated. There are four types of comedies: funny and good (very rare), funny but not good (common), good but not funny (very rare), and neither good nor funny (extremely common). Old School fell into the fourth category, but a lot of people seem to put it in the second. I can't explain it. The story was mindless and incoherent, and the comedy was working too hard for too little payoff. Starsky & Hutch couldn't be more different. It was dumb, yes, but not mindless, and the story was totally coherent. Not terribly original, granted, but it worked. The comedy came easily, and so did the laughs. Even Will Ferrell managed not to go too over-the-top (though his character as written was, admittedly, another rare weakness in an otherwise quality script). [Todd Phillips also directed Road Trip, which I have never and will never see because I refuse to support, in any way shape or form, the career of Tom Green. It's rare that I ban actors, but this ban has protected me from some pretty awful movies, apparently, so I'm keeping it.]

Oh yeah, one last thing: Vince Vaughn sucks. Deal with it. He doesn't take anything away from the movie, but he does suck. And Juliette Lewis is totally wasted in this movie. Again, you can take that however you want it.

Important Dates for Brant's Wedding

Here are important dates for Brant's wedding. Please verify that I have the dates right. I'll add more information as we get closer to the event. Please post here with any suggestions. Drew, please add a link to this page to the toolbar.

The Trap at The Fire, Wednesday

On Wednesday, you should all come and see The Trap perform at The Fire, located at 412 W. Girard Ave, Philadelphia. We'll be playing a couple of brand new covers, including one which features a guest performance by Kate Thomas.

We don't yet know what time we're going on, but we'll let you know when we do. Hope to see you there!

SuperBowl: Here We Come.

I want to call it first. The Eagles will win SuperBowl XXXIX. So come one, come all. Feel free to get on the bandwagon now. It is going to be a great ride.

Theater Excursions: Welcome to Mooseport

Starring Ray Romano, Gene Hackman, Maura Tierney, and Marcia Gay Harden
Also Starring Christine Baranski, Fred Savage, and Rip Torn
Written by Tom Schulman
From a story by Doug Richardson
Directed by Donald Petrie

If I had bothered to research the director, which I usually do, I would have known to stay away from this particular film. But I'm a little glad that I didn't. Not that Welcome to Mooseport is a good film: it's isn't. But it also isn't nearly as awful as Petrie's previous work would have led me to expect.

But this is the man who directed Michael Caine in Miss Congeniality. If I had known that the same man was directing this, I wouldn't have allowed Gene Hackman's presence to steer me into the theater. I don't why this man has to take my favorite actors and put them in films that are, to be blunt, beneath them. I also don't understand why both actors, who normally give fine performances, are completely forgettable in their roles. I think this pretty much proves that Petrie is a rotten director.

But he's not trying to make Lawrence of Arabia, of course, and the direction in this film really isn't all that bad. Sure, it's bland, but we're not looking for great rolling vistas and what have you. We're looking for a cute little romantic comedy about a small-town hick running for mayor of a small hick town against the former President of the United States. Ok, I confess, that's why I went to see it... for the political angle.

So Gene Hackman is Monroe "The Eagle" Cole, the most popular ex-president ever. Even more popular than Clinton. His library is going to be bigger than Clinton's. His speaking fees are going to bigger than Clinton's. And this is very important to the Eagle. He was the only president to be divorced while in office, and his ex-wife got the bigger house, so Cole is forced to come live in his summer home at Mooseport, Maine. There, he is asked by the locals to run for mayor, as their beloved and long-time mayor has recently passed away. Mainly to impress a woman he meets, Cole agrees.

The woman is Sally Mannis (Maura Tierney), who is the longtime girlfriend of Handy Harrison (Ray Romano), who had agreed to run for Mayor when he thought that no one wanted the job. The center of the film is the conflict between Handy and the former President. The conflict over the office of the mayor, and the conflict over Sally.

The film takes great pleasure in portraying these men as a couple of jackasses. At the end of the film, they learn their lesson about how they really shouldn't act like jackasses and manage to find true love and happiness. That's fine, as far as it goes, but I'm starting to get a little sensitive to the strong anti-male messages that seem to be all over the culture right now.

Sally, for example, wants Handy to propose to her. Handy is dumb, like most men, and doesn't pick up on this. But rather than discuss the problem like reasonable adults, Sally decides to start dating President Cole. Both of them, in my opinion, behave like idiots. But while Handy's bad behavior nearly destroys his relationship, Sally's saves it. The same pattern is repeated with President Cole and one of his top advisors, Grace Sutherland (Marcia Gay Harden). Grace thinks that Cole is going overboard with his competition with Handy. She's right. But rather than discuss this with him like a reasonable adult, she instead secretly begins working as a mole to destroy his campaign. Once again, Cole's bad behavior nearly creates a disaster, while Grace's avoids one.

I don't think I'm being oversensistive here, but the message seems to be not only that women can never be criticized for doing anything, no matter how irrational it may be, but also that this irrational behavior will, through the magic of Hollywood, fix all of the stupid male screwups. Ok, so maybe I'm reading too much into a dumb romantic comedy, but I found this a little offensive, frankly.

Also offensive was the treatment of the small town hicks. There are a lot of films that make comedy out of the intersection of big city sophisticates and small time townies. No film does it better than State and Main, which finds ample comedy while still acknowledging that the locals are, beneath their funny accents, eccentric traditions, and mindboggling earnestness, real human beings. This film never quite pulls that off. The locals are weird. They're funny because they're different. With the exception of the principle characters, they are not real people at all.

Despite the general crappiness of this film, I hope Ray Romano gets more film opportunities. I've been a fan of his since the "Dr. Katz" days, and I think his uber-likable TV persona is holding him back. Nobody takes him seriously (and, based on his career to-date, no one should), but I think he's got real potential, and I'd like to see him make it. But he really didn't do himself any favors with this rubbish. I walked away with the feeling that the man can't work without a laugh track. Maybe that's true, but I don't think it's fair to criticize Ray Romano for being mediocre in a film where Gene Hackman was also mediocre, you know what I mean? Unfortunately, after this mess, Romano may never get a real chance. That would be a shame.

The whistles go WOO WOO

It's just for decoration. (394kb)

Bachelor Party... The Saga Continues

We have reservations for Friday May 7 and Saturday May 8 at the Atlantic Palace Suites Hotel. A 2-bedroom suite for 6 people, check it out here. $199 for Friday, $229 for Saturday + tax and whatever. There is 1 complimentary parking space; I'm sure there's more parking available, but you may have to pay for it.

We are also considering a minor league baseball game Saturday May 8, 1:35 PM Atlantic City Surf vs. Nashua Pride. Beer will be involved, I'm sure.

Off the Bandwagon

So, last night was the long-awaited season premiere of The Sopranos. All day yesterday, everyone was talking about it. Duke's girlfriend Monica was calling her friends to figure out where she and Duke were going to watch. Jay and Jenna were planning to watch it. Keith posted his predictions for the season on Tucker's World.

But I don't care. I used to love the show. I have Season One on DVD. I watched Seasons Two, Three, and Four when they first ran. It used to be a Sunday ritual for me, and one that I really enjoyed, especially back in the 71 Bishop Street days. But now I just don't care.

I don't really know why. Maybe it's the ridiculously long wait since last season, but that's always been a staple for The Sopranos. Maybe it's because both Seasons Three and Four were disappointments to me. [Not that they weren't good, but they were a lot less good than the fist two seasons.] I don't know. But I don't give a damn.

If I happen to catch re-runs on HBO, I'll watch them. But I probably won't, because I don't watch very much television at all. [I did catch a re-run of Real Time with Bill Maher last night, which was nice, cause I love that show, and because Tavis Smiley was on, and he rocks.] But I'm not going to ask my dad to record them so I can watch them later, like I do with The West Wing, and I'm not going to actively try to watch the show. I feel like I should, but I just can't bring myself to care.

I'm actually pretty surprised about my attitude. I expected that I would get wrapped up in Sopranos-fever like everyone else. Go figure. Maybe it's because I'm an anti-American, French-loving, Christ-bashing, pinko Communist bastard. Who knows?

Crew Name Anagrams

Keith: Geek Huh Shit
Drew: Ledger Vow
Jay: Ninjas Ovolos
Brant: A Big Brr Scent Whens
Rob: Rat Borer
Hunter: He Viol Snot Run
Jenna: Thee No

SEX ED.

No, no I am not going to be giving an lessons on how to please your woman...even though I could, heh heh heh..nudge nudge. All right enough of that nonsense. What I intend to post about is a case that is taking part in Texas. As the story goes a large group of people are boycotting Girl Scout cookies. Why, you may ask, would anyone boycott those delectable little cookies sold by those cute precocious little cherubs? Well apparently a troop down there named some woman from Planned Parenthood as a woman of distinction or some other name of praise. Also the Girl Scouts allowed Planned Parenthood to use their name on some flyers of theirs (nothing about abortion) and in some of their sex ed classes. The article that I read mentioned that the class taught, besides sex, homosexuality, masturbation and condom usage. Now, the Girl Scouts gave no money to Planned Parenthood and did not require or even ask the girls to attend. The classes were intended for a middle school audience. Apparently the boycott failed because some people bought cases of cookies in protest of the boycott and the girls made more money than the would have ever hoped for. So how do these parents respond? They take their girls out of the Girl Scout and Brownies program and then enroll them in some brainwashing, I mean Christian program.

The point of this post is not to tell you guys about some whacked out, uptight, backwater hicks from Texas. No, shit like that happens all of the time. I mean to talk to you guys about sex ed. Why are people so afraid of sex? Why are people so afraid to even have a frank intelligent conversation about sex with their children? I can imagine that it is an amazingly embarrassing and awkward thing to do, I am definitely not looking forward to it. That is why schools should teach sex ed. These kids are going to learn about it somewhere. Would rather it be from numbnuts down the street, or MTV, or from some magazine like Maxim? Or would you rather have a licensed educator teach your kids about pregnancy, contraception, STDs and how to prevent them?

Study after study after study has shown that if you have sex ed in school then teen pregnancy, STDs and even sexual activity altogether goes down. Also the use of condoms among other contraception goes up. And if you teach abstinence or no sex ed at all, then the opposite happens, teen pregnancy, STDs and sexual activity increase? Also, the use of protection goes down. Studies also show that the earlier you teach the kids about sex the better off they are, I am talking middle school here not toddlers. But no, for some reason many people out there are just plain afraid of sex, I just do not understand it. These kids are not stupid, if you just treat them like the budding adults that they are then you will see drastic changes in how they act and live their lives. But if you want to shield your children from all the "dirty" and "harmful" things that are out there then you will have an uneducated child overwhelmed by what the world has to offer. And yes I know that I have a child becuse of broken protection and premarital sex, so let's please be adult about this and not mention what we already know.

God Hates Shrimp

Check out GodHatesShrimp.com.

...and in the beginning...

I decided to be a dork, that's why I haven't been posting lately. I decided that this MLB season I'm going to write a daily blog on baseball, with an emphasis on Drew's favorite team, the New York Mets. Here is the link, and here is the first article.

Welcome. Let me first just say it's not a great time to be a baseball fan. The steroid problem is running rampant, the economics of baseball are out of wack, the commissioner is viewed as incompetent and/or detrimental to the good of the game, and what was once our nation’s pastime is now the 3rd most popular sport in many polls.

But, at the same time there is reason for hope on each of these fronts. Today I'll discuss the first of these three points: steroids

With George Bush addressing this in the state of the union, this is now a topic beyond sports. The first question to be asked is: "Are steroids bad?" The answer to this question depends on who you ask, but from a fans' perspective this should be a resounding yes. Taking away the health concerns for the users, steroids make the playing field uneven in a number of ways. First of all, there is clearly an advantage to the offensive players. John Smoltz recently came out and said that he wants baseball to be tougher on steroids, and I wouldn't be surprised if more pitchers followed suit.

The reason for this is pretty clear. Pitching takes more than just strength. Velocity has little to do with strength or stature, just see the diminutive Billy Wagner who tops the 100 mph level often. We can see relatively heavy pitchers (David Wells, Sidney Ponson) be extremely effective. On the other side, batters have a great deal to benefit by using steroids, but not in the way you might think. Just adding strength won't make you a better batter; you need to have the prerequisites, bat speed, quick wrists, and the ability to hit the ball. What steroids will do is give you more power all things equal. Steroids will have a minimal effect, if not a beneficial effect, on those three. But steroids will give you more power, increasing your value as a baseball player, both in terms of homeruns and just hits in general.

As I said, the question remains if steroids are bad. I'm sure if you asked the owners of baseball teams secretly, and hooked up to a lie detector, the truth would be no. Fans like the long ball, fans like offense, and fans like records. Fans sit in the seats and buy hot dogs. Hence, the more the fans are interested, the more money goes into the owners' wallets. So, if this is what the fans want, why again is it bad?

It's bad because it has to do with the integrity of the game. Not only do steroids give batters an unfair advantage, it also gives those players who are risking their future health by using steroids an unfair advantage over those unwilling to endanger their health.

So, what should baseball do? They need to take a harder stance on this. Right now, a player must test positive five times before he is suspended for a year. Five times! The first two will result in a slap on the wrist, a fine.

Baseball needs to make this a zero tolerance issues, similar to their stance on gambling (see Pete Rose). Activities that question the integrity of the game should not be permitted, and both gambling and steroids do this. With gambling, there are no strikes, no free passes. This should be the stance with steroids too. You test positive once, bam, 30 day suspension. You test positive again, you're gone for a year. To stop an activity that is running rampant, you need to make the penalties harsh if you want the activity to stop. Plain and simple.

Baseball needs to address this issue now, and Bud Selig needs to show some leadership for once. The current testing system is a joke, and everyone knows it. Bud has shown before that he really doesn't have an idea how to determine the difference between what is best for the game of baseball and what the fans want (see Pete Rose). Unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised if absolutely nothing happens, and this problem lasts until the off season next year.

TIME TO POST AGAIN....NUDGE NUDGE

Here are a few interesting things I read in the most recent issue of Time Magazine. Let me know if this post is cheap and lame because I am just stealing this from a magazine or what, I am sitting on the fence about it.

First off, the Smith and Wesson company (the second largest gun maker in the U.S.) just hired a new chairman of the board (not Frank), his name is James Minder. That is not really the news, the news is he had spent 15 years in prison for armed robberies and an attempted prison break. And in the irony of all ironies he is not allowed to own or even handle a firearm. Of course he was released and has a clean record since 1969. He also started a nonprofit group that helps delinquent youths which has a multimillion-dollar budget. When the story broke about his past he stepped down as chairman but remained on the board. I have no real opinion about this I just thought that it is really funny that SMITH AND WESSON hired a chairman of the board that was not allowed anywhere near a gun.

Second story: I do not know what you guys are planning this weekend but if you were looking for a movie to see I thought that I would give a quick synopsis of two movie that are currently in theaters.

Taking Lives starring Angelina Jolie. ANGELINA JOLIE'S character is an unusually observant, successful FBI AGENT who wakes up in bed with a bloody LIVE body, is always staring at photos of dead people SHE DOESN'T KNOW, has an older male mentor who's QUEBECOIS and has a psychopath tell her she's just like him OVER THE PHONE.

Twisted starring Ashley Judd. ASHLEY JUDD'S character is an unusually observant, successful HOMICIDE DETECTIVE who wakes up in bed with a bloody DEAD body, is always staring at photos of dead people SHE KNOWS, has an older male mentor who's AMERICAN and has a psychopath tell her she's just like him FACE TO FACE.

Hope this made your decision easier.

My last point is that Dick Cheyney has an openly gay daughter, I wonder what his whole take on the gay marriage issue is, and what Bush is saying about gays. I have not heard anything about his opinion, if someone has please let me know, because I am very curious.

Traffic Report

Traffic for February was remarkably consistent with traffic for January. Given the fact that February had only 29 days, while January had 31, the fact that we had a tiny increase in total traffic by month is encouraging. Once again, we've come in at just over 950 hits. We also set a new single-day record of 49 hits on February 23, beating the old record of 46 from January 14. [The old record was also tied on February 2.]

So, keep up the good work everbody, and keep promoting the site to your friends.