Microsoft Blows E3

As some of you may or may not know, E3 stands for the Electronic Entertainment Expo, which is basically the biggest video game convention in the country. All three consoles have huge press conferences, showing off their upcoming games and system updates, and taking thinly veiled swipes at the other consoles.

The only press conference I watched was Microsoft's (which is the only console I own). They started out great. They brought out the heavy hitters, the awesome games: Fallout 3, Gears of War 2, Fable 2 and Resident Evil 5. All of these games looked awesome and I will, more than likely, be picking up all of them. Then Microsoft decided that it wanted to be Nintendo.

As of the past week or so Nintendo is leading the console wars in North America. The 360 was the leader for the longest time but the Wii finally overtook it. Great for Nintendo, but in their zeal to become the top selling console they have lost all credibility as a gaming system. As Tycho from Penny Arcade put it; Wii owners are the "proprietors of Ladies Home Journal." The Wii is a great console for casual gamers but an absolute joke for anybody that actually enjoys playing games more than once every couple of weeks.

Well, I guess Microsoft saw the success of the Wii and got jealous, because after the awesome game announcement they started talking about how they were going to turn the 360 into the Wii. By the end of the fall Microsoft will release a massive system update that will take the 360 from the hardcore gaming machine that it is now into something soft and cuddly. Instead of having a gamer pic that represents your online identity you will now have to create a new avatar. Oooooh, how cute! I can now pick out hairstyles and clothing options for my new little fella. I can now see how all of my friends have dressed up their online dolls. We can even compare fashion tips and mock those whose avatars don't have matching shoes and belts. Excuse me, I am going to go throw up now.

OK, I am back. That was unpleasant. If anyone has actually seen these little avatars lately they are clearly a direct lift of the Wii's Miis, which are also so damn cute! Microsoft then went on to introduce new features and games that were clearly aimed at the casual gamer. Cute colorful games that donot need to played a lot to master, lip synching games, easy innocuos games that really do not do anything for you. Ugh, I can't wait for Microsoft to start getting the massive shovelware of shitty games that Nintendo currently sufffers from.

Don't get me wrong I completely understand why Microsoft is doing this. They are a business and they have a bottom line. They do not owe the hardcore gamer anything at all. It is just sad. Everybody had their place. The soccer moms and old people had the Wii and the serious gamers had the 360 and the PS3 and never the twain shall meet. Now they will and I just do not like it.